Oh man, it's nice to be home. Lying awake with chronic jetlag from four in the morning is so much more comforting in your own bed...

Oh, jetlag. Jetlag. You ever heard the phrase 'she didn't know if it was arse or breakfast time'? I think it's breakfast time, but I'm really not sure. Am struggling to formulate thoughts to entertain you, my dear friends, but the phrase 'leave me alone to die' keeps coming back into my head. Though I like it when you post, of course.

When did they standardise time zones? Does anyone know? I heard that time was standardised in England after trains came in, because if your watch was set to the local church clock in Cornwall and you tried to catch a train in London, you'd miss it - especially as there's a bit of time zone variation between the east and west of the country. But I'm not sure. I'm under the pathetic impression that if I work this out, my jetlag will go away. Do you think that's right?

Leave me alone to die.